The Autobiography

• But the colonizing influence is not just present in Senegalese food, the standards of beauty here have also been thoroughly colonized. I have now seen several men with conks, or relaxed hair. Now clearly someone needs to distribute thousands of copies of the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” because conking is just unacceptable. In the US unless you are one of the 4 Ps (Pimp, Preacher, Performer or Politician, which are the same thing when you think about it, right?) you are not allowed to conk your hair. The only exception is if you do it to be funny and even then you must proceed with extreme caution. Yet dudes are walking around here like they are extras in a Little Richard biopic. It seems perfectly acceptable to conk your hair in West Africa. In fact, one of the most famous West African footballers Didier Drogba conks his hair (pictured above). I am going back to the markets to see how many copies of the Autobiography I can pick up and starting handing out as Ramadan presents.
• Although I am seeing a lot of evidence of self-hatred, the Senegalese are still no where near Dominicans. Some people have taken issue with me unilaterally declaring Dominicans to be the “Most Self-Hating Group of Black People on the Planet.” My oldest sister, Sugeni, argued that I have not been to enough countries to be able to designate who is most self-hating and then she pointed to the example of light-skinned Bollywood actresses and the skin-bleaching creams sold in India. First of all, self-hatred is a legacy of racism worldwide therefore unfortunately there are many contenders for the title. All non-white cultures are self-hating to some degree, but we are looking for the MOST self-hating. Secondly, I am limiting the title to “black people” using the Unitedstatesian definition of blackness i.e. “anyone of visible Sub-Saharan African ancestry.” Therefore, India and other non-African cultures are beyond the scope of “our study.” But more importantly, I just cannot believe that anyone can be worse than Dominicans. I may admit to co-holders of the title like maybe us and black Poles or something like that, but I couldn’t fathom self-hatred getting worse. Like what could be worse? Self-genocide? Only if Dominicans decided to murder each other for being black could we sink any lower.

Fair & Lovely

• I woke up on Thursday and as I reached for the knife to cut the French bread (every time I have breakfast I can just imagine the priest at my Church in New York reciting “Our Fateher” somberly in that sing-songy voice priests always use “y danos hoy nuestro pan de cada dia…”) I tipped over a tall orange spray can. Thinking it might be some bug spray I turned it over slowly only to discover to my horror that it was a can of skin bleaching spray. I demanded angrily who it belonged to, but my host mom told calmly that it was hers with no hint of guilt or shame. I figured that I shouldn’t lecture a 50 year-old woman, especially since here I am white, so I just ate buttered my bread and grit my teeth.


• Then last night Alphonse came out to me begging me “Maikel, Maikel” and after he listened to “Bad” another five times he told me he wanted to be Michael Jackson. That seems normal enough—children often want to be like famous artists and athletes, that’s why many people want them to be role models—but then he told me that he wanted to become white like Michael Jackson too. I told him Michael Jackson was an evil, crazy man, and that while he used to make great music he should be in jail now. He asked why, but how do I explain internalized racism and child molestation to a nine-year-old boy? Chimaobi, any more suggestions?


• As fucked up as all of that is though, I think the Senegalese would have to do much worse before they could even begin to compete with Dominicans for the title of “Most Self-Hating Group of Black People on the Planet.”

Toubabs are not ugly either

• Although it is doesn’t seem quite as bad as the Dominican Republic (most self-hating group of black people on the planet remember?) it is obvious that white folks here get lots of love too. Last weekend I went back to Just 4 U to hear a Senegalese band, Ceddo (the Wolof word for the “traditional animist” religion that existed pre-Islam). They were really excellent, and I had a good time, but I felt bad because I was the only non-white dude without a white girl. There were around a dozen young white women all with what is essentially the same dude. If you have been to a beach in a tropical country with black people, you have met the dude. He is tall, lean, cut, has locks and is a musician and/or dancer. You have met the white girl too, she got her hair braided recently, she wears sandals, and is doing a documentary or volunteering at an orphanage or writing her thesis on rap music or maybe all three. Ok, I will stop stereotyping now. But seriously it was a segregationist’s nightmare there that night.
• I have also been asked four times now if Soizic, the Belgian volunteer, is my sister, and then they ask if she is my girlfriend and if they can hit on her.

We are a sad, sad bunch

For those of you who do not speak Spanish, the title of my blog roughly translates to "To Africa, boy, are you crazy?!" Whenever I forget why I am here and begin to think that learning two languages at once is absolute folly I read articles like this one and I remember why as a Dominican-American it is important for me to be here. One of my several reasons for coming to Senegal is to hopefully use this experience to better educate my negrophobic family and community. I doubt I could do anything to change the racist opinions of most Dominicans because as I said in this space already Dominicans are the most self-hating and delusional group of black people on the planet. Thanks Yajaira for sending me the article.

Where no gringo is ugly

Like I said this country makes me feel incredibly cynical, so sorry for the huge dose of negativity in this cluster of posts. But I couldn´t talk about the anti-Haitianism here without bringing up the other side of the coin, which is the terrible racial self-hatred here. Dominicans simply will not admit we are a black, African people. Our claims to the contrary are laughable. Most Dominicans would rather admit to being "indio", literally Indian, by which they mean to refer to the original Taino inhabitants of the Antilles than admit to being black. Therefore light-skinned mulattoes generally refer to themselves as "indio claro" and the darker-skinned refer to themselves as "indio oscuro." "Negro" or "prieto," the words for "black" are used exclusively for Haitians or to insult a dark-skinned Dominican. In addition, there are a innumerable other permutations to refer to variations of skin color, such as "trigueño", "cafe con leche", "jabao", etc. (wheat-colored, coffee with milk, untranslateable respectively). But, in my opinion, generally people recognize that there are four racial strata, white, light-skinned black, dark-skinned black and (black) Haitian in descending order of status.

What all of this leads to is a collective delusion and denial on the part of dominicans that is simply maddening. The darkest-skinned Dominicans who are most marginal to Dominican society, unfortunately, and in my opinion logically and by design, are the ones that feel the greatest need to reinforce the status differences between Dominicans and Haitians. Being here you are constantly bombarded with imagery, attitudes and sayings that reinforce that to be black is to be stupid and ugly and to be white is to be beautiful and smart. You constantly hear of "pelo bueno" (good hair) and "pelo malo" (bad hair). The vast majority of the women here straighten their hair in an attempt, however subconsciously, to attempt to look more European, more white. And although I understand that the attitude is pervasive and often afro-Dominican women are forced to straighten their hair in order to meet "professional" standards, I don't like it. This country needs a black pride movement.

The other annoying part of it all, is that the black self-hatred here makes this even more of a playground/paradise for white tourists. Cualquier trapo de gringa aqui es una reina. White men and women here are the most coveted sexual and marital partners, and when added with class and national power (that visa/green card) the romantic attractive potential of white tourists simply skyrockets. Again it is maddening because most of the white tourists here are not aware of how much they are valued for their lighter skin, and in doing so, most Dominicans reinforce the idea that they are not beautiful, not smart, not worthy. Que paisito!