The Autobiography

• But the colonizing influence is not just present in Senegalese food, the standards of beauty here have also been thoroughly colonized. I have now seen several men with conks, or relaxed hair. Now clearly someone needs to distribute thousands of copies of the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” because conking is just unacceptable. In the US unless you are one of the 4 Ps (Pimp, Preacher, Performer or Politician, which are the same thing when you think about it, right?) you are not allowed to conk your hair. The only exception is if you do it to be funny and even then you must proceed with extreme caution. Yet dudes are walking around here like they are extras in a Little Richard biopic. It seems perfectly acceptable to conk your hair in West Africa. In fact, one of the most famous West African footballers Didier Drogba conks his hair (pictured above). I am going back to the markets to see how many copies of the Autobiography I can pick up and starting handing out as Ramadan presents.
• Although I am seeing a lot of evidence of self-hatred, the Senegalese are still no where near Dominicans. Some people have taken issue with me unilaterally declaring Dominicans to be the “Most Self-Hating Group of Black People on the Planet.” My oldest sister, Sugeni, argued that I have not been to enough countries to be able to designate who is most self-hating and then she pointed to the example of light-skinned Bollywood actresses and the skin-bleaching creams sold in India. First of all, self-hatred is a legacy of racism worldwide therefore unfortunately there are many contenders for the title. All non-white cultures are self-hating to some degree, but we are looking for the MOST self-hating. Secondly, I am limiting the title to “black people” using the Unitedstatesian definition of blackness i.e. “anyone of visible Sub-Saharan African ancestry.” Therefore, India and other non-African cultures are beyond the scope of “our study.” But more importantly, I just cannot believe that anyone can be worse than Dominicans. I may admit to co-holders of the title like maybe us and black Poles or something like that, but I couldn’t fathom self-hatred getting worse. Like what could be worse? Self-genocide? Only if Dominicans decided to murder each other for being black could we sink any lower.