Paradise Interrupted

On Caitlin’s last day we went to the Ile de la Madeleine, a small uninhabited island off Dakar (hence the cab ride). It is technically a national park and I was going in hopes of finding a beach that was clean, and clear of vendors hissing at me; flabby, pale tourists; buff dudes working out at the beach trying to get one of the flabby, pale tourists mentioned above; and children splashing around everywhere. Unsurprisingly, it was a small adventure just to find the ferry there. It was wedged between two beachfront construction sites, and when we got there they got annoyed that we hadn’t seen the small, inaccessible sign. We took a small motorboat out there accompanied by a tall, muscular soldier with an ancient looking semiautomatic rifle. When Caitlin asked what it was for he said it was to kill annoying illegally fishing near the island.

We were alone on this empty island for a couple of hours. Feeling like I was in paradise I decided to lay down in the water while resting my head on the sand beyond where the waves were reaching. It was idyllic until I felt something bite my knee and then when I tried to get up I felt another two or three bites. Startled I quickly rose to my feet and looked through the invisibly clear water to see a large school of tiny “vulture” fish. These fish attacked me every time I tried entering the water and effectively impeded my plan to cool off by getting in the water. Subsequently, when it hit noon and I finally conceded that the tiny evil fish had won, I was forced to discover that the island had no shade cover. It was hot as fuck, but I got a nice tan though.